Thursday, July 8, 2010

I recently got hold of some of my old clothes that I'd left behind in my old house, including a large number of socks. When I moved to where I am now, I only had a suitcase of clothes, and it was summer, so I only had a few pairs. In a way, that was a liberation too - I decided that I didn't *have* to wear socks all the time!

But then winter came, and I got a job standing up for long periods of time in work shoes, so I needed to buy socks. And now I had all these old ones too and I thought, well I'll keep them because socks wear out, and it'll save me having to buy any for years. There was not enough room in my underwear drawer, so I moved things and had a whole drawer full of socks. Actually, a whole drawer STUFFED with socks. When I opened the drawer, it was difficult to shut it again.

Then I was talking to someone about abundance.

So yesterday morning I emptied out that drawer of socks, and looked at them - what message to the universe am I giving by having all these?

The message is that I don't trust that I'll be able to afford to buy new ones when I need them.

The message is that I am insecure, and need to surround myself with things to protect me.

So I organised them, and now I have sufficient socks for my current needs, and the rest - and there are a LOT of them - are being given away: someone else may benefit from the excess that I don't need.

And this seems to me to be emblematic of the way I can, and have, lived my life. I can try to control everything and make sure that "I have enough". I can try to ensure that every eventuality is covered, that all my plans are in place. But I know what happens when I live like this - I end up discontented.

The thing is, there is NEVER enough; not enough money, enough food, enough booze - not enough anything.

Things don't work out like I plan and so I try to make better plans. The things I have don't make me happy, so I need to get more things.

I also know what it's like when I make room for abundance in my life.

When I give up trying to manage the outcomes, and just look after the here and now, my life opens up and I get to appreciate all the great things in it.

Where I am right now is an absolutely wonderful place, but it's not where I want to be forever. No, I'll re-phrase that - where I am right now is an absolutely wonderful place, AND it's not where I want to be forever.

Yesterday, I threw out some things, and now have space in my wardrobe: every day I can throw out old ideas, and leave space in my life for the abundance that life gives me.

When I live each day as it comes, I can enjoy life as it happens, and every moment can be magical.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Gratitudes

Summer Sun
warm Southerly breezes
long daylight days
the way the sun makes the clouds look
that clouds are always different
sunsets over the river
sunrises on the beach
sand between my toes
sea water lapping at my feet
sand dunes

coloured cliffs
light houses
sea birds
dog walkers
the backs of knees
toes
tides
The Wash
Norfolk folk
accents

reflections
ripples
red cars
security gates
bikes
tomato plants
locally grown asparagus
strawberry plants in hanging baskets
water features
garden furniture

docks
fishing boats
newts
cycle paths
flood defence dykes
bridges
grass tracks
wooden walkways
white cats that let you pet them
ferries

having suntanned feet
being able to wear shorts
roses
peonies
those big tall flowers growing in my garden
bollards
shells
reeds
gulls
blue tits

dragonflies over the water
not being scared of them anymore
water lilies
ribbed glasses
window blinds
stars
the Moon
street lights
knowing my way even when the street lights go off
candles

candle lighters
Tuesday Market
Farm shops
Local produce
water falls
Rivers
marsh land
willow warblers
grebes
bunting

Marsh Harriers
flags
other peoples wide screen TV's
not having a TV of my own
wrist watch
pictures
memories
souvenirs
weather stations
a Big D

window cleaners (when they come)
garbage collectors
street cleaners
courts
brass
wheeled suitcases
charity shops
glass ornaments
the veins on leaves
cat hair